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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26921677">The Shrouded Sun (Eclipse Rewritten)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/magzdilla/pseuds/magzdilla'>magzdilla</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>TwiLit (Twilight Rewritten) [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, eclipse - Freeform, twilight - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 01:34:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,915</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26921677</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/magzdilla/pseuds/magzdilla</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A violent ending also means something else for Bell Swan. Death is only the beginning.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jacob Black/Bella Swan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>TwiLit (Twilight Rewritten) [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1939048</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>57</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Death was a dark, numb void.<br/>
No heaven, no hell... just quiet. It wasn't entirely unpleasant.<br/>
I had thought I would lose all consciousness, that it would be nothing but the biggest sleep ever, but it wasn't. Just a dark, floaty void. I remembered everything, even the stupid stuff I wish I could forget. I was only sorry my life didn't have more meaning.</p><p>In the midst of death, I heard strange sounds, though far away, as if they were happening underwater: the sounds of breaking glass shattering into the void, the snarls of wild animals, screaming. Next to my ear, I heard heavy breathing--but not human breathing. These breaths sounded and felt like they were coming from lungs much larger than my own. I thought I could smell Old Spice and motor oil. It made me think of him.</p><p>I opened my eyes to see a dark room and I immediately realized that I'd missed the deadline for Evergreen. I don't know how I knew, but I knew days had passed and it was too late to submit.<br/>
"Oh FUCK," I gasped, sitting up in an unfamiliar bed. Not mine, not Jacob's... whose bed was I in?<br/>
Seth and Leah Clearwater burst through the bedroom door and we all wide-eyed-stared at one another for a second. Leah leaned back through the doorway and yelled, "She's awake! Fucking move!"<br/>
Jacob rushed in behind them, a mug in his hand.<br/>
"Drink this, Bell," he whispered, cradling my head. What the fuck was even happening? I let him hold the mug to my lips and I drank whatever it was down: it had the consistency of thick tomato soup, but an unfamiliar flavor... almost, gamey? Like, tomato soup but with meat? Whatever it was, I gulped it greedily and let Jacob lay me back down into whoever's bed I was in.<br/>
I mumbled to him, "I missed the deadline for Evergreen."<br/>
Jacob kissed my forehead and said, "We'll take care of it."<br/>
I whispered, "My dad."<br/>
"He's okay," Jacob said, cradling my face in his gloriously warm hands. "He knows you're here with us."<br/>
Where was here? I wondered, before going out again.</p><p>I came to again, and immediately felt the difference: I was no longer breathing. I was dead.<br/>
I sat up in the bed and examined myself. My hands were ice cold. Yes, I was dead. Awake and conscious, but dead.<br/>
Alice got what she wanted. I was one of them now.<br/>
I staggered over to the mirror and looked at myself: still more or less the same, but even paler if that was possible, and my eyes seemed to be a different color. It was hard to tell in the dark, and I was too scared to put the light on to know for sure. I couldn't help but remember the random church services Mom had taken me to as a child. What did they mean now that I was both alive and dead? Was it real? Was it all bullshit? If there was life after death, did it only count if I was in the land of the living? I had no idea.<br/>
My senses were different now too: everything was in sharper focus now. I could see see and hear with greater acuity now, though that wasn't necessarily a great thing because I could hear the raised voices in the kitchen talking over each other.<br/>
"--owe her that. What if she basically sacrificed herself for us?"<br/>
"--gerous. We don't know what's she capable of."<br/>
"--am! They killed her as a message to US. We need to go to WAR."<br/>
"--can't. They did it outside of our territory. We can't do anything about that."<br/>
"--llshit!"<br/>
It didn't take a genius to know they were arguing about me. I'd thrown a monkey wrench into their lives and now they had their worst enemy among them. I tried to get back into bed, only to slump down on to the floor. Ahh, simplicity: carpet was an easy, simple thing to focus on. Vintage posters on the walls of old riot grrl bands. Batik-dyed tapestries covering the windows. Vinyl records of The Clash, Bad Religion, Black Flag, neatly stacked. the faintest scent of spearmint and skunk. This was Leah's room: it wasn't a bad place to be.<br/>
All at once, I realized what was in the mug Jacob had given me.<br/>
This was so deeply fucked.</p><p>The kitchen had gone quiet. There was a soft knock at the door, and it cracked open.<br/>
"Hey," said Jacob. He came in, closing the door behind him and sat next to me on the carpet.<br/>
"... how?" I asked. I was so scared to touch him, I was so sure he'd be disgusted by me now.<br/>
He looked down. "Your scent," he said. "I always know your scent. We, uh... tracked it to the Cullen house. We figured out pretty fast that they faked the other vamps in the woods to draw us away from you."<br/>
"I'm so sorry," I said, starting to cry. "This is fucked. I thought the police station would be..."<br/>
"Hey," he whispered, tilting my chin up. "What matters is that you're here now. They couldn't get you then, and they can't get you so long as you stay here in La Push."<br/>
I was so relieved that he was actually touching me. I slumped over and put my head into his lap.<br/>
"The... vampires. Did you--?" I didn't know how to say "Kill them".<br/>
"If only," Jacob said, sounding bitter. "The two women got away, but not without taking hits. And the man? He'll be fine once he grows his limbs back." I shuddered.<br/>
"Does my dad know?" I mumbled.<br/>
Jacob placed his on hand my hair, flinching at how cold I was. "He thinks you have mono."<br/>
"Wait, what?" I said, sitting up.<br/>
"Yeah," he said, and laughed weakly. "It's the excuse we give to outsiders when the change happens to us, so I figured it would work for you. My dad covered for you too. You should call your dad today, I know he's worried."<br/>
"Yeah, I just... I don't know what I'd even say to him. I can't go back to him like this," I said, gesturing at myself. "I mean, the first time I step out into the sun, I could--"<br/>
"We'll figure this out," he whispered, his voice shaky.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dad was relieved to hear from me. It was a struggle not to break down crying on the phone, but I held it together. I think he suspected there was something more going than just mono, but with the Blacks, the Clearwaters, and even Sam Uley backing me up, he went with it.<br/>
"You come home real soon, Hell's Bell," Dad said, choking up slightly. "I miss you."<br/>
"I miss you, too. I'm missing so much school," I said. "If I screw it all up I'll just have to take the G.E.D. or something."<br/>
"If you do, then you do. What matters is that you get healthy," Dad said, sounding stern. I smiled, in spite of myself. I wish I could have told him everything.</p><p>"What's weird is that they actually thought they were doing something good," I said, still in Leah's bed the next day drinking from what I now thought of as the Blood Mug (it had a picture of Garfield on it). The blood was from a deer Jacob had taken down in the woods. He'd promised to show me how to hunt responsibly. The thought of killing a deer terrified me, but the idea of hurting a human being was even worse.<br/>
"Why would they even think that?!" Leah asked, wrapped in a quilt, frowning. She was freaked out by me, I could tell by hearing her quickened heartbeat, but she was also curious. She wanted to know the enemy. The other Pack members (aside from Jacob) treated me like I was a living hand grenade, and I couldn't blame them.<br/>
"They thought they were giving me a gift," I said, hugging one of Leah's pillows. "They were going to give me to Edward Cullen as a mate, like an arranged marriage or something. Never mind the fact that they were doing it against my will. They’re fucking insane sociopaths."<br/>
"Your eyes are so red," Leah whispered.<br/>
"I haven't been smoking up, I swear," I whispered, trying to laugh.<br/>
"No, I mean... your eyes were brown. Now the irises are red," said Leah, and she looked scared for the first time since I'd ever known her. She must have been remembering her dad's dream.<br/>
"I'm still... me," I said to her. "Please, I couldn't bear it if you were scared of me, please." I was trying not to cry again.<br/>
"I'm not scared of you, Bell," she said, wincing as she took my cold, dead hand between both her warm, alive ones, "I'm scared FOR you, honey."<br/>
I started crying again, I couldn't help it. To my shock, Leah started crying too and we held one another, crying like lost children.</p><p>Sue's sister was coming to visit the Clearwaters on Saturday and she didn't know about me, meaning I'd have to give Leah's room back to her (something I should have done sooner anyway). Around midnight, I took some blankets out to the backyard shed, which still smelled faintly of the skunkweed Leah had smoked the day after Harry died. </p><p>When the sun rose, it turned out to be an unseasonably sunny day in La Push, so I would be stuck in the shed for twelve hours or so. It wouldn't be so bad if only I could sleep. I hadn't slept since I'd woken up from death itself and by noon, I'd read all six paperbacks on the shed shelf except for Atlas Shrugged, which was too excruciating to get through. Was sleep even necessary anymore?<br/>
Curled up in the fetal position on the sofa, I considered the bleakest possible future: one where I’d have to watch my dad grow old and die, where I’d have to watch Jacob grow old and die... a life where he was physically repulsed by what I'd become. A world in which everyone moves on around me and without me, and I would be left behind, frozen in time like an insect in amber.<br/>
And the only other beings in the world that could relate would be the monsters who’d done this to me. The perfect living dead vampires whose absolute selfishness overrode anything else.</p><p>In a shell-shocked daze, I watched the razor thin slices of sunlight beaming through the vinyl panels of the shed. They were quite beautiful really. Staring at it gave me a sense of calm, and unexpectedly I came to a decision, a perfect solution. I couldn’t believe I’d never thought of it before. I was already dead anyway, technically speaking.<br/>
I stood up, opened the door and walked outside into the sunlight. If I couldn’t live in the daylight, I would die in the daylight.<br/>
I closed my eyes and stood there feeling the cool grass under my bare feet with arms outstretched, waiting for the inevitable burning. I hoped it would be quick. But it didn’t happen. In fact, nothing was happening.</p><p>“Jesus Christ!” I heard Leah say.<br/>
I opened my eyes. Leah and Seth stood there, mouths hanging open. Seth had dropped the sandwich he’d been holding.<br/>
“Holy shit,” Seth breathed.<br/>
“Your skin,” Leah whispered and pointed.<br/>
I looked down at myself, fully expecting third degree burns... but instead, my arms and hands were... glittery. As if I’d trashed the glitter section of a craft store and rolled around in the debris. I didn’t look like a vampire, I looked like a weird fairy. The sun wasn’t painful the way I thought it would be, just bright... and completely ordinary.<br/>
“What the fuck?” was all I could say.</p><p>Now that we knew I could be in daylight without dying, I followed Leah and Seth into their house to wait for Jacob to get home from class. While we waited, Leah handed me the thermos she’d been carrying.<br/>
“Made a run to the butcher shop,” she said. "It's not the weirdest request they've ever had, believe it or not."<br/>
I opened it: pig blood.<br/>
“Thank you,” I said awkwardly, craning my head away from them so they wouldn’t have to watch me drink it.<br/>
Their landline line rung, and after a short conversation Seth handed me the receiver. “It’s Jake. He’s mad, sorry,” Seth said apologetically. Oh no.<br/>
“Jacob?” I said.<br/>
“What the fuck were you thinking?!” cried Jacob, his voice hoarse and shaking.<br/>
“I wasn’t! I wasn’t!” I said, taking the call into the bathroom. “I just... I don’t ever want to be what the Cullens are. I had a moment where I thought I was a monster. It was a stupid impulse, I’m sorry,” I said, and I started to cry. I could hear Jacob crying too.<br/>
“You’re no more a monster than I am,” he said, his voice cracking. “I’m so pissed at you! I’m so pissed at you.”<br/>
I sat on the bathroom rug, both of us crying.<br/>
After a few minutes, Jacob said, “You swear to me on your life—on your dad’s life, that you’ll never try to hurt yourself like that again.”<br/>
“I swear. I promise,” I whispered. “I’m so sorry.”<br/>
"I love you, you dummy," he said.<br/>
"I love you too," I said, wiping my face.<br/>
We were quiet for a moment. I could hear him breathing.<br/>
“Did... why did Seth say that your skin was glittery?”<br/>
“Oh my god,” I laughed with relief. “Like a disco ball. You have to see it to believe it.”<br/>
“So all the Hollywood vampire rules are bullshit?” Jacob said, sounding baffled.<br/>
“I guess so,” I sniffled. “As much as the werewolf rules are, anyway.”<br/>
“Fair point,” he sighed.<br/>
I ran my hands through the wooly yarn on the rug. “I guess we’ll have to learn how this works together,” I said.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>That night, I decided it was time to come up with an actual plan to put my life back together: "mono" would only work for so long, and I couldn't hide in the Clearwaters' shed forever. I simply couldn't live the way the Cullens did, so I'd have to figure out how to live as normally as possible until people started to notice that I wasn't aging. After all, I didn’t have a vampiric Daddy Warbucks to jet me off to Alaska or Maine if things got too hot, so if I wanted to avoid suspicion I’d have to be smarter than the Cullens. The first step was doing some online shopping with some gift cards (Amazon, etc.) I'd gotten for my birthday: after scouring through five different contact lens sites I finally managed to order a pair that came pretty close to matching my former eye color. I noted with irony that many of the sites were selling costume lenses in the same blood red color that I was trying so desperately to hide. </p><p>Additionally, I couldn’t get away with skipping school whenever the sun was out, so I went on the Sephora website &amp; ordered three different heavy duty foundations close to my old skin tone (Fenty, Smashbox, Tarte). I’d have to experiment a bit, find a formula that would hide the goddamn sparkle so I could go outside without looking like I’d just left a rave at Burning Man. In this rainy part of the world, it wouldn't be difficult to wear long sleeves most of the year (the main reason the Cullens chose this place at all), so the only real coverage I'd have to worry about would be my hands, face and neck. I also ordered a box of those chemical hand warmer packets off Amazon: keeping one in my bag or coat pocket would be useful in case I needed to shake hands or touch someone without freezing them to death.</p><p>Maintaining sustenance would be tricky. I wasn't sure I had it in me yet to go running in the woods and take down a deer... but Leah bringing me the pig blood reminded me of something: a movie I saw as a kid called "My Best Friend Is A Vampire", and in that movie, the protagonist vampire got his blood routinely supplied through a local butcher shop, keeping it in a mini-fridge in his room. Maybe I could do that, tell them I was making blood pudding or something, I don't know. I'd have to ask Leah where she bought the stuff in the thermos.</p><p>As I researched on the laptop, Seth hovered over me as while I scrolled through the pages and was particularly interested in finding lizard-green contact lenses, simply because he thought they were cool. Seth had grown more used to my new state of being, even occasionally referring to me as ‘Lady Dracula’. (“Don’t call her that,” Leah had snapped at him. “What, it’s funny,” Seth had protested) Jacob watched us from the doorway as Seth chattered away at me, his expression grave and thoughtful. Jacob remained as kind as always, but was more distant now. He hadn't touched me in days.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CW: explicit sexual content with werewolves. If you don't want to read NC-17 level material, best to skip this chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Early the next morning, Jacob took me deep into the forest to hunt, far from any prying eyes. It was the first time I was ever able to keep up with him physically. As fast as he ran I was never less than a few feet behind him, marveling at the new speed. Not having to stop for breath contributed to it, I supposed. He regarded me with both wonder and caution, and kept me at arms length while showing me through the deep woods. The distance between us was this ever-widening chasm and it was about to make me scream.</p><p>After an hour of hiking, I could no longer bear the elephant in the room. I had to get it out or I would burst.<br/>“I know,” I choked out, “I know that things are different now. That I’m different now.”<br/>He turned back to look at me quizzically.<br/>“I love you. And I know you love me. But if you don’t, um... want me anymore, I’d understand,” I finished miserably, leaning on a tree.<br/>Jacob stared at me for a moment, then stalked over and pressed me up against the tree, his hands gripping my shoulders.<br/>"Is that what you think?" he said, inches from my face. "That I don't want you?"<br/>"... do you?" I asked, genuinely confused.<br/>"Jesus," he said, and with his hand around the back of my neck, yanked me to him and covered my mouth with his own, kissing and biting me. He was so incredibly strong and I realized that the other times we'd done this, he'd been restraining himself so as not to hurt my fragile human body. I broke the kiss and moved my hands under his shirt, touching his burning hot chest. "Jacob," I said into his neck. "I want you. Don't hold back anymore."<br/>He wound his hand into my hair, gripping it into a fist, pulling my head back to make me look into his eyes. <br/>“Are you absolutely sure," he murmured, his eyes dark, the pupils dilated.<br/>"I want to feel all of you," I said. "Please."<br/>And suddenly I was flung through the air, landing face-up in a nest of mossy grass and then Jacob was on top of me, tearing at my clothes, quite literally ripping them off my body. I couldn't help but start smiling as a guttural, perhaps inhuman growl came from his throat when I wrapped my legs around him. He was on me, he was in me, thrusting hard, moving and grabbing me in a way he never had before, his teeth grazing my neck and shoulder. <br/>"Is this what you want?" he growled into my mouth, pinning my wrists above my head with one powerful hand.<br/>"Don't stop," I moaned, "don't stop."<br/>"You're mine," he rasped, "Mine."</p><p>What we’d done before in the sweet privacy in our teenaged bedrooms was love-making: guileless and gentle. What we were doing now under the canopy of the trees, in the soil and moss was far more feral and way less human, but no less satisfying.</p><p>He groaned into my ear and his whole body shuddered as I felt him coming inside me. He took a moment to collect himself and catch his breath, looking down at me in astonishment.<br/>“Are you okay?” I whispered.<br/>“Jesus,” he gasped. “Are you?!”<br/>“I’m amazing,” I said, kissing the tip of his nose.<br/>“That could have killed you,” he said, shaking his head. “What I did to you should have broken every bone in your body.” His voice cracked, and he was starting to tear up.<br/>“Hey, hey,” I said, holding his face in my now-lukewarm hands. “I’m made of tougher stuff now. And I’m fine. Better than fine.”<br/>“You... you’re sure?” he said in a sort of happy disbelief.<br/>I kissed him. Jacob returned the kiss, then rolled off me, panting and staring up at the trees. He looked over at me and said, “I’ve been so afraid of hurting you. I still don’t completely understand what this did to your body. I didn’t want to risk hurting you.”<br/>I curled up next to him, feeling the lovely soft moss. “I trust you. I’m glad you trusted me too.”<br/>We stayed that way until the sun broke through the trees and hit my bare skin.<br/>“Holy shit,” Jacob said, his eyes huge. “A disco ball. You weren’t kidding.”<br/>“Maybe I’m part fairy or something,” I said, holding my bare arms out, studying them as they absurdly glittered in the sunlight.<br/>“Oh my god,” Jacob said, sitting up and looking around. “I shredded your clothes. You’re gonna have to wear my shirt.”<br/>I couldn’t help but laugh. Jacob laughed too and tossed his shirt to me.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was my last day in La Push before returning to Dad's house and attempting to reintegrate into human society. I was finally comfortable wearing my contacts, and on a cloudy day could more or less pass for the old me. The makeup seemed to be working too: Billy had a cool little UV penlight that I borrowed to test the different formulas on myself. He watched me performing the foundation tests on my arm with avid curiosity, expressing the same kind of astonishment on seeing my ridiculous, glittery skin and when I tried to give it back to him and he waved it away and laughed, saying "You need it more than me, little one."</p><p>I said my early morning goodbyes to the Clearwaters before starting my truck (the Cullens had driven it to their house and the Pack retrieved it that same fateful day). Even Garrett and Sam were there.<br/>Garrett handed me a loaf of homemade bread wrapped in a gingham cloth saying, "This is for your dad, sweetie and this," --producing a business card-- "is for you." It was the card of a butcher shop in Port Angeles.<br/>"Trust me when I tell you they're quite friendly and helpful and if anyone ever asks, pork blood is quite commonly used to cook with in cuisine all over the world," he said, looking pleased.<br/>"This is amazing!" I said, feeling unworthy. "Thank you so much, Garrett." He beamed cheerfully.</p><p>"You're gonna come over next week and play Mario Kart, right?" said Seth.<br/>"Count on it," I told him, giving him a fist-bump.<br/>Leah's chin trembled, and she handed me a tiny bottle of Visine. "Those contacts'll dry out your eyes," she said.<br/>"Okay. Thank you," I said, and hugged her tight. "For everything." She grabbed me by the shoulders and looked me in the eye. "You need anything, you call or text me, okay?" she said.<br/>"I will," I promised her.<br/>She paused, as if deciding what to do next, then kissed me hard on the forehead.<br/>"Stay out of trouble, Lady Dracula," she said, her voice trembling. I couldn't help but smile, and Leah returned it. No matter how weird or gross or unnatural I was, these people had decided that I was part of their family. I could never completely express how grateful I was for that.<br/>Sam was in the doorway of the house. He kept his distance, but nodded to me. I waved back.</p><p>The last night I spent at Jacob's house, curled up in his bed with him. <br/>"I'm so ice cold and you're so hot," I observed, feeling melancholy.<br/>"Like two sides of a bathroom faucet. We balance each other out." Jacob said, quite amused at himself.<br/>My phone buzzed. "It's my mom, I gotta take this," I said stepping into the hall, and Jacob nodded. She was probably going to tear me a new one for missing so much school.<br/>"Babes?!" she said excitedly.<br/>"Hi, Mom. How--" the words were barely out of my mouth before she was talking over me, saying "Don't be mad at me for waiting so long to tell you, I wanted to be sure before we started announcing! Honey, you're gonna be a big sister!"<br/>My mouth hung open, my tongue dry.<br/>"Bell, I'm pregnant! Four months! Isn't that exciting?!"<br/>I found my voice: "Y-yeah. That's... um, wow. Was this, this planned?"<br/>"Oh babes, don't be jealous," Mom tsk-tsked. "I'll love you just as much as always, you know that!"<br/>"No! I mean, yeah! Yes, of course," I said, holding my hand to my head and sliding down the wall to sit on the hallway floor. "I'm really happy for you. Like, serious. Congratulations."<br/>She went on about baby showers and gender reveal parties, all stuff I realized I probably couldn't attend in the blazing Arizona sun. Shit, shit.<br/>We finally hung up, and I stared at the phone, still in shock.<br/>My first reaction was a maybe irrational anger: she hadn't said one thing to me about missing school, mono, none of it. I knew logically I should be relieved that her attention was off me and that I was off the hook, but I couldn't help but feel hurt that she didn't even bother to scold me.</p><p>Jacob craned his head out of the doorway. "Bell, you okay?"<br/>"My mom's pregnant," I whispered, still staring at my phone.<br/>"What?!" Jacob said, sitting down next to me. "Is that... safe?"<br/>"Oh," I said, turning to him, "Physically yeah, I think so. She had me when she was nineteen, so I think she'll be okay. I don't know how much of the baby's life I can be a part of though, but... yeah."<br/>"Does that make you sad?"<br/>"Kind of, but... like, not out of jealousy," I said, turning it over in my mind. "I mean, I was the accident that tied she and Dad together. But this is different. This is probably a really good thing for Mom. She'll have a kid that'll become an adult... and that kid will probably have kids of their own. I... I can't do that. But this way, Mom could be a grandma someday."<br/>"Bell," Jacob said softly, turning my face to his. "I wanna show you something." He pulled out his wallet and thumbed through it, finally pulling out two ragged pieces of notebook paper that looked like they'd been folded and re-folded a thousand times. He unfolded them, and I recognized my own handwriting.</p><p>"I was in a really bad place when the change started. I was feeling real dark... I guess, as dark as you felt in the shed that one day. But then I got your first letter, and... "<br/>Jacob quickly leaned over, kissed me, then said, "Bell, you saved my life. You kept me from going crazy and you didn't even know it."<br/>I emitted a coughing chuckle and leaned into him. "I can't believe you kept them."<br/>"I'll always keep them," he said, wrapping an arm around me. "But the point is... you don't have to live a regular human life to have a life with meaning. The stuff you do with it, the people you help--that's what gives it meaning." <br/>I smiled, suddenly feeling exhausted. "I guess that's not so bad then, huh."<br/>Jacob kissed my hand. "Nope."<br/>"I'm gonna make the most of it then," I said, feeling decisive, "I want us to have as much quality time together as possible before you age out on me."<br/>"Age out?" Jacob said.<br/>"You know what I mean," I said, looking down.<br/>Jacob starting laughing.<br/>"Whatever, ha ha," I said, startled. <br/>"No, Bell. Bell," he said, wiping his eyes. "How old do you think Sam Uley is?"<br/>My mind went predictably blank. "Um, I can hardly tell. Twenty-five? Thirty?"<br/>"Try forty-six."<br/>I gaped at him, my eyes popping wide, and Jacob laughed again. Suddenly the seeming age difference between Garrett and Sam made a lot more sense.<br/>"We have a lot more time together than you realize," Jacob said and because I was already an emotional wreck anyway, started to cry. He hugged me tight. <br/>"They're happy tears," I blubbered into his sleeve.<br/>"I know, baby," he said.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first day back to school felt incredibly surreal to me, but was not as difficult as I imagined it would be. My friends were happy to see me back, and only shrugged when informed of my new soylent-based diet due to my diagnosis of "Porphyria". So long as I brought my lunch in a thermos with a metal straw, nobody really seemed concerned. I was shocked at how easy it was to slide back into high school life. </p><p>In study hall, Jessica was far more prepared:<br/>"Oh my god, be real with me," Jessica said, beaming. "Was it really mono or was it a bone-a-thon with Jake?"<br/>"Um... both?" I said. She squealed with delight. I'd been texting her throughout my self-imposed quarantine with an edited storyline of events. I thought Angela would be more likely to catch on to the changes in me than Jessica would, but caution was my go-to state now.<br/>"You know, my cousin had leprosy," Jessica said, examining her nails. "Diseases get weird."<br/>"Leprosy?!" I gasped. <br/>"Or Lyme disease, I forget which."<br/>I laughed so hard. I'd really missed Jessica.</p><p>After I got home from school, Jacob called immediately. "Did it go okay?" He said, sounding nervous.<br/>"It's fine," I said, laughing. "It's really not so bad."<br/>"Are you like, uh... thirsty?" he asked, clearly uneasy. It was indeed okay, in fact Jacob had actually helped me sneak a mini fridge into my closet Sunday night in order to hide the blood from the butchers' shop.<br/>"I'm fine," I promised him. "It's really not so different." And what's weird is that it really wasn't, with all the adjustments in place. Honestly? What mattered to me was that Jacob still stuck with me.<br/>"You haven't heard from any of the Cullens?" Jacob asked.<br/>"Jesus! No," I said, "If I did I would tell them where to go."<br/>"If they contact you, you should talk to them, just for intel, you know?" Jacob said. <br/>"Intel?" I said, "like Jason Bourne?"<br/>Jacob laughed. "You know what I mean," he said. I kind of did, but hoped it would never come to pass.<br/>Although I already kind of knew it would.<br/>Sooner than I would have ever wanted, unfortunately.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>(AN: sorry it's been so long since an update. Life stuff got in the way: ruptured appendix, nearly died, etc. etc. But we're back!)</p><p>Jacob had to be psychic: on a cool, foggy day in Port Angeles, I'd just picked up my monthly stash from the butcher shop and was browsing through a bookstore when I saw a familiar figure out of the corner of my eye. Her.</p><p>"I'm not here to start shit, just listen," the blonde Cullen whisper-yelled at me.<br/>
"Alice said something similar to me before she killed me," I replied, pushing past her.<br/>
"Look, I'm sorry!" she half-yelled, and everyone in the book store stared at her.<br/>
"Jesus," I said, "come on outside, and don't try anything."</p><p>I sat down on the bench outside the shop as Rosalie (she finally introduced herself) perched herself on the arm of the bench and fidgeted nervously. She didn't have the fey madness of Alice, nor the feral elegance of Dr. Cullen. She looked utterly miserable. But I wasn't about to take any chances.<br/>
I pulled out the UV penlight from my purse and held my finger on the button. The only thing these people feared was exposure and by God, I'd expose them if I had to. "Say whatever you need to say and then get the fuck away from me," I said to her, faking calmness.<br/>
"Bitch, I'm trying to help you," Rosalie hissed at me.<br/>
"Oh! Oh! " I said, weirdly unafraid and half-laughing. "Help! The way your sister helped?"<br/>
"Look," said Rosalie, "I know they fucked you over. WE fucked you over. It happened to me the same way."<br/>
"Really." I said.<br/>
She leaned over, icy gold eyes glinting. "I was turned against my will too," she whispered. "I had to go with them because I had nothing else. But they took everything from me so I know, I get it."<br/>
"Then why are you still with them?" I said, shaking my head.<br/>
"... I have no one else, okay?" She said, her face crumpling. "That's what they do. They take everything and tie you to them, forever," she said, looking at her hands. My god, Jessica was right all along: they were a cult.<br/>
"You have family at least, even if they are gross animals," Rosalie finished, glancing around her nervously.<br/>
"Those 'gross animals' showed more honor and kindness to me than anyone of your lot ever did," I said, standing up and shouldering my purse. "You got anything else?"<br/>
"The Volturi!" she spluttered.<br/>
I narrowed my eyes at her. "The what?"<br/>
"The... the vampire royalty, the lawmakers. If you're gonna make it on your own, you need to know about them," Rosalie said, and made a face as though she'd tasted something sour.<br/>
I sat back down. "All right. Fine. But if I get even a hint that you're fucking with me--"<br/>
"Look, I'm sorry, okay?! I'm genuinely sorry," Rosalie said in a strangled voice.<br/>
I only looked at her. Was she? <br/>
"I'm sorry. I could've stopped Alice and Carlisle, and I didn't because I was scared, and I'm... I'm really sorry."<br/>
"I remember you telling them to kill me," I said slowly. "Would that... have been better?"<br/>
She glared at me.<br/>
"I'm not being shitty here, I genuinely want to know," I said with urgency. "Would that have been better?"<br/>
"It's, um." she said, looking embarrassed and defeated. "It's what I would have wanted. If I'd known what life with them would be like."<br/>
I sighed, more out of habit than anything else. "Okay," I said, meeting her gaze. "Tell about the Volturi."<br/>
And to my astonishment, she did.</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>On a hazy winter morning, Jacob and I met up at First Beach just after sunrise and we walked the rocky shore, our fingers interlaced, while I told him everything Rosalie had told me: her story, which was tragic, and the history of the Volturi (which was as Jessica would say: fucking bonkers).<br/>"Holy shit," Jacob said, looking flummoxed. "Holy shit. This is a lot to process. Do you think she's telling the truth?"<br/>"Honestly?" I said, squinting at the winking sunrise, "I have no idea. I have no reason to trust her, but..."<br/>"But?" Jacob prompted.<br/>"She's so unhappy," I said. "She's... what I could have been, in a different time or place. I just feel--bad for her, I guess."<br/>Jacob hugged my shoulder tightly and leaned in to me. "Your empathy is the most human thing you've got," he said, smiling and shaking his head. "Don't ever lose that. But just be careful: the Cullens are good at lying. They've made an art form out of it."<br/>"I learned that the hard way," I said and laughed and coughed at the same time. I was still re-learning how my lungs coordinated with my vocal cords.</p><p>Down shore I could see an older woman and a toddler playing in the tide. The woman stood upright and waved to Jacob, who waved back. I waved too, just to be polite.<br/>"Family?" I asked.<br/>"Kind of," Jacob said. "That's Paige and uh... well, Paige's daughter, basically."<br/>"Basically?" I asked.<br/>"It's hard to explain," Jacob said. "You ever heard of imprinting?"<br/>I thought back to Mr. Banner's bio class. "Yeah, I think so," I said, remembering. "Like when a duckling hatches and sees a human and thinks the human is it's mom?"<br/>"Sort of," Jacob said haltingly, as if trying to figure out a way to explain it. "It's kind of a strange, specific thing with us."<br/>"I'm well acquainted with strangeness, don't worry," I said, elbowing him.<br/>"Okay, okay!" he laughed. "Um, okay. Well... Paige is Sam's cousin, and last year Paige's brother and sister-in-law died in a car crash."<br/>I hissed sympathetically. "Oh my god. That's horrible."<br/>"Yeah," Jacob said solemnly. "They left behind a baby girl: Brady," and gestured to the toddler jumping in the water. "We all helped out and took turns taking care of her, but Brady imprinted on Paige. To Brady, Paige is her mom now and they'll have this deep mother-daughter bond for the rest of their lives."<br/>"That's... that's good though, right?" I said. <br/>"I mean, yeah! Imprinting is a rare thing but when it happens, it's always to make sure a little kid has a good parent who loves them and will look out for them. It's just tough because it always happens under sad circumstances, you know?"<br/>I considered this. It was indeed sad. But I watched Brady and Paige playing together, and I was at least glad they could be a family together. Genetics and evolution was such a weird thing.</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Time proceeded to pass in it's own strange, hiccupping way. I was accepted into the University of Washington (Dad was ecstatic) and thankfully was able to enroll for online classes with the exception of a lab or two. I had a hunch that night school would be my very good friend. My irises gradually shifted from the blood red to the golden color of the Cullens... was it a genetic thing? Had I been infected with their eyes somehow? Thankfully the contacts still worked to conceal that. I also invested in a high end special effects kit (the kind used by makeup artists for horror movies) and occasionally painted a scrape or bruise on myself to keep my reputation for being an eternal klutz--emphasis on eternal. Jacob thought the makeup kit was hilarious, and Seth was so fascinated by it that he got his own to start painting sci-fi special effects on himself. I split my time equally between La Push (being with my wolf family) and Forks (being with my human family). I was painfully aware that graduation was fast approaching, and that we'd have the summer but beyond that, Jessica and Angela, Mike and Eric, would soon be lost to me. It stung in ways I couldn't describe. I stayed in contact with Rosalie, who kept surprising me: I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop, for her to deposit me on the Cullens' doorstep, but she never did. In fact, she told me of a possible way I might stay off the Cullens' radar forever by talking to someone specific and that she could help make it happen if I put in a good word for her.<br/>
"What, quid pro quo?" I asked.<br/>
"Don't be all Hannibal Lecter," Rosalie said, rolling her eyes. "Bitch, you're the closest thing I have to a friend, so can we just do this please?"</p><p>Per Rosalie’s request, I met with the mysterious Aro of the Volturi in a place of my choosing. It was with a sense of irony that I sat down at a table at La Bella Italia for the first time since that night with Angela and Jessica. Frankly, I would have much preferred their company tonight, but I figured this had to happen. </p><p>I was pretending to sip a cup of tea when he walked through the door: dark hair tied into a ponytail, unnerving red eyes like garnets, in a perfectly tailored suit. Even in a fancy restaurant he looked dangerously out of place, like a cobra slithering through a Nordstrom's. He wasn’t even trying to fit in. </p><p>“Ms. Swan,” he said softly, and extended his hand. I rose from my seat and gingerly shook it, his eyes narrowing at me and a slight frown crossing his face before releasing my hand and sitting across from me. Guess that was one of those alpha male power moves.<br/>
"I'm pleased you agreed to meet with me," he said, his voice smooth like warmed silk.<br/>
"Yes, hello," I said, feeling nervous. I'd never spoken with someone as old as Jesus Christ himself before. Jesus Christ! "Rosalie said you had questions for me? I hope I can answer them."<br/>
“ἀγαθός”, he said.<br/>
“I’m sorry?” I asked.<br/>
“Forgive me,” he said. “I occasionally slip into my mother tongue... but discretion is the better part of valor. And speaking of discretion! Your methods of blending in are...” , gesturing vaguely at the fake bruise on my arm, “Creative. Resourceful. One could almost mistake you for a drab, ordinary human.”<br/>
“Ah... thank you,” I said.<br/>
Aro chortled. "No offense," he said.<br/>
"None taken."<br/>
"We have been watching you for some time. Your means of fitting in not only align with our own rules of assimilation, but even perhaps improve upon them." He smiled and folded his hands under his chin in a liquid movement both elegant and surreal. "Would you be interested in coming to Italy for a time? We could learn from one another."<br/>
I blinked, both out of shock and out of habit. "That's... that's very gracious of you! But I'm afraid I can't, not right now. I still have a human life here... I have people here."<br/>
"Ah, yes," Aro shrugged, wrinkling his nose. "The... wolves."<br/>
"They're family," I said, more firmly.<br/>
"I suppose it is good that you have earned their trust. A war with the... the wolves would be costly on all fronts. Peace is far more equitable for everyone involved." Aro peered at me curiously. "You do have peace with them?"<br/>
"Yes," I said. "I'm close with them. They've had my back in many bad situations. And I mean to do the same for them."<br/>
Aro seemed to consider this, tapping a finger to his lips and peevishly waving away a menu from a hopeful waiter.<br/>
"And the Cullens? Do you ever see them?"<br/>
"Only Rosalie," I said. "The less I ever see of the Cullens, the better."<br/>
"We can certainly assist with that," Aro said promptly, as if anticipating this precise moment. "I can't profess to understand their lifestyle, but so long as they follow our particular rules I am prohibited with interfering with Carlisle's family."<br/>
Carlisle again? He had to mean Dr. Cullen.<br/>
Aro then suddenly looked over his shoulder. I looked too: another red-eyed man was casually standing outside, leaning against a window and smoking a cigarette (how?!).  Aro looked to me and said apologetically, "I'm deeply sorry, I must cut our dinner short. There are matters that require my attention."<br/>
I barely managed to hide my relief. "No! No, it's okay, do whatever you need to do."<br/>
"It was a great pleasure to meet you, my dear," he said standing up and bowing slightly. "Please know we will be in touch." And like that, poof, he was gone. I slumped in my chair with relief.<br/>
"Miss?" said a voice. I jolted. It was the waiter. "Was everything to your satisfaction?"<br/>
"Yeah!" I blurted. "Yes, yeah. I'll take the check now." My hands were shaking slightly. I didn't even have the chance to bring up Rosalie. She was going to be pissed.</p>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Graduation day. It was a quick blur, full of laughing and tears. Even Dad was teary at some points as he gamely FaceTimed the whole event for Mom, who was too far along in her pregnancy to travel.</p><p>In the midst of all the hugging and cap throwing I grabbed Jessica's hand and took her with me into the women's room on the far side of the auditorium.<br/>
"Okay perfect, I have a joint I stole from my brother," she said, digging through her purse.<br/>
</p><p>“The valedictorian smoking weed right after her speech?” I asked, playfully wagging a finger.<br/>
</p><p>“Meh, Jeremy says once you’re in college nobody gives a shit what you did in high school.”<br/>
"I, um..." I stammered, struggling. I had to be serious now. “I have to tell you something," and Jessica looked over at me, puzzled.<br/>
I took a breath. "I just... I won't be able to hang out with you once we're all in college. Like... I won't see anyone from school anymore."<br/>
She started crying and so did I, and I couldn't give a shit any more, I hugged her. She sobbed, hugging me back, still saying "What the fuck, B?! Why are you being so dramatic about this?! Of course we can still see one another."<br/>
I took Jess's hand and gasped, "I have to show you something. I'm gonna show you, okay? But don't be scared," and I pulled out the UV penlight.<br/>
Jessica grasped my hands, and said, "Whoa, wait, no. What."<br/>
I was confused. "I'm gonna show you. You were right about everything ever since the start, I have to show you."<br/>
Jessica grabbed my hands. "No," she said more firmly.<br/>
"What?" I stammered. "Don't you want to know?"<br/>
Jessica hugged me tight. "Holy shit, you're cold," she said and laughed, "No, sweetie. I don't want to know."<br/>
"But--"<br/>
"No," she said, and held my cold face in her warm hands. "No! Just---just tell me this: does Jake take care of you?"<br/>
"Yeah!" I said. "Yeah, of course he does!"<br/>
"Good, good," Jessica said, her voice cracking up a bit. "That's real good." She held her warm forehead to my gross cold one. "I already know, sweetie. That's so fuckin' good." I started to cry too and we both collapsed into each other, sobbing.<br/>
Jessica. Jessica. I couldn't help but feel like I was saying good-bye to her forever.<br/>
She clung to me for a long time, then kissed me on the forehead, saying "Text me tomorrow, you dumb bitch," and then she was gone, walking unsteadily out the bathroom door. I stayed in the stall for a long time, listening to other girls filter in and out, doing all the normal human things done in a goddamn bathroom. Though in my mind, I was already putting together plans: trust funds for her children, her grandchildren and great-grandchildren. If I had my way, nobody in her family would ever have problems with college tuition ever again. That was the absolute best I could do for her.</p>
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<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The night of graduation, Jacob, Dad, and I celebrated with a quiet dinner ('soylent' for me, burritos the size of my head for each of them--god, did I miss food sometimes). Afterwards, Jacob and I laid out on Dad's ancient wicker lawn furniture in the backyard and looked up at the starlight, hearing the occasional distant sounds of fireworks.</p><p>"Are you sure you didn't want to go out and like, go crazy with all your friends tonight?" Jacob asked. "I know it's the last time a lot of you guys will see each other."<br/>
I shook my head. "This is just about perfect for me. Besides, I was never into the whole romanticized high school experience--even back when I was a regular person. Here," and I pulled a ring out of my pocket. "This is the class ring my mom paid for. I told her I didn't want one, would never wear it, but she insisted on getting it!"<br/>
Jacob held it up and examined it. "It's not terrible," he said and I raised my eyebrows at him. He laughed, "Okay, it's kind of terrible. But the stone's a pretty color."<br/>
I agreed. "The red stone's the only thing I like about it!"<br/>
Jacob hesitated, and handed it back to me. He sat up straight and dug through his jacket pockets.<br/>
"At the risk of giving you something similar that you, uh," he said, pulling out a small box, "--didn't ask for?"<br/>
My eyes widened.<br/>
He opened it up. Inside the box was a small, lovely, minimalist ring with one tiny red stone in the center.<br/>
"It's not an engagement ring!" he said. "It's not even a promise ring or anything corny like that, but..."<br/>
I smiled and took the ring, delicately placing it on my left hand ring finger.<br/>
"... it'll be whatever you want it to be," Jacob finished, looking uncharacteristically bashful.<br/>
I held his face in my cold hands and kissed him.<br/>
"It's exactly what I want it to be. It's perfect," I said.<br/>
"Then that's what it is," Jacob said.<br/>
We laid back with our hands entwined in a gentle, companionable silence and looked up at the stars and the crisp, faint edge of the moon gracefully above, all in perfect alignment in the springtime sky. </p><p> </p><p>Epilogue: Six years later.</p><p>It was a classic, rainy Seattle day. Minimally risky to meet Angela for coffee. She'd become a decently successful author with a series of YA fantasy novels, but hadn't published anything yet this year. I brought along a copy of her most recent book, hoping she'd sign it for Billy (he was a huge fan). Angela was more than happy to do so, blushing sweetly and asking, "Who was his favorite character?"</p><p>We settled in to a private table, Angela drinking a latte, me sipping a bottled water--a skill I'd practiced over the last two years and was pretty good at, so long as I could make it somewhere private in time to throw the water back up.</p><p>We caught up on each other's lives:<br/>
My online grad studies at WSU were going quite well: sociology and world history with a focus on the Italian Renaissance (a field quite handy for learning more about the Volturi and their methods). Rosalie, who long since left the Cullen clan (now haunting the high schools of Stockholm) to strike out on her own, had been an invaluable resource of their history. Aro continued to be a scary bastard, but so long as I played by Volturi rules, they were content to leave me and my wolf family in peace. Aro occasionally hinted that he'd still welcome me as a guest in Volterra, but never pushed when I politely implied that I wasn't worthy enough to visit yet. For whatever reason, I intrigued Aro and so long as he remained interested I could reasonably protect my loved ones from any vampire interference. At this point, I nearly pitied the Cullens: stuck in a cult, doomed to repeat the horrors of high school forever.<br/>
Dad was doing well, his only complaint was a bit of occasional arthritis. Mom and my little sister Cassie were making more and more frequent trips north to visit us. Cassie was incredibly bright and was about to enter 2nd grade. Mom had divorced Phil last year and was toying with the idea of moving to Seattle--THAT would be interesting.<br/>
Jacob had just opened his own garage, and business was solid. We'd been engaged for just over a year, but were in no rush for the wedding. We had time.<br/>
After my bathroom breakdown, Jessica had sternly insisted we all stay in touch, and given the ever advancing phone technology, it was easier to do than I would have thought. Jessica had married her college sweetheart and just had her second baby; I made sure to send an excellent gift from her registry and added the baby's name to the trust fund I'd opened in her first child's name.</p><p>"Anyway, it's classic writer's block," Angela said, tapping her tablet impatiently. "My publisher wants a novel that can be expanded into a franchise, using old horror tropes in a new way. But everything I think of sounds cliched and hacky. I'm fricking stumped, B."</p><p>The gears in my head were whirling: how would you defeat an immortal enemy?<br/>
By killing them off?<br/>
Or by simply taking away the source of their power?<br/>
As I learned many years ago, the source of their power was secrecy. Their hiddenness. And if they couldn't hide anymore...</p><p>I leaned over to Angela and told her: "What if... there was a secret vampire family that wasted their time pretending to be high schoolers for all eternity?"<br/>
Angela's eyes widened. "The Cullens? Whatever happened to those people?"<br/>
I smiled and folded my hands.<br/>
"I have the perfect vampire dark comedy for you."<br/>
Angela smiled, and opened a blank Word document. "Hit me," she said.</p><p>(AN: this was fun, you guys. I hope you had as much fun reading it as I did writing it. This is the official ending of the TwiLit saga, but I have an idea in my head for what Bell would be doing in the year 2092 if you're curious)</p>
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